Tml's another day at work. Boring. Monday blues. Newsflash. Smsing takes up loads of time. Hah. That's smthing I dun hear everyday. Not like I sms 10times in an hr or smthing. I feel like just turning my back on this r/s now. The way she talk just makes me feel I mean so little. I have tests too, I still make e time to sms her to tell her i miss her. Maybe can say its coz she wants As n I just wanna pass, but to me, its e same thing.
Getting an A for her is e same as getting a pass for me. I dun think passing is that easy, to her it is but not to me. I'm not as intelligent or bright as she is and I never will be. I wont ever become a doctor, or get a Phd, I wont even qualify for a high-flyer job. I will forever be a nothing, a nobody. But her, she'll go on to do great things. When tt day comes, who will I be to her? I seriously dunno. Even if she dun look down on me, maybe I'll look down on myself maybe her friends will to.
I will never be like her friends or e lover she needs n wants. I am a lowlife, a rougue and a ruffian. No matter how I try to be ard her, my attempts at politeness to try to please her. Its all a veneer coating. I am who I am on e inside no matter wat I try to project to her on e outside, deep down I am still an animal.
Maybe she doesnt need me. No one needs me, I'm better off alone. Feel that I'm not even worth an sms, or a min out of her time. Perhaps to her tt min is impt eh? Afterall who am I to judge eh? Nowadays I'm beginning to feel that there's nothing left for me in life. No one will care if I died. Sure my mom will be sad but life goes on, my sis will take care of her and I'm sure that a nice guy will come n take care of my dear dear.
Eugene Chow will be so glad I died, no one to glare at him when he comes home w my sis. I'm not worth a min, wished I was dead, but I lack e courage to kill myself. Smtimes i wish like crazy a hell driver wld just ran me over.
Told her if she wanna join e band she cld. Guess it wld make her happy even if I aint thrilled bout it.
